Coming JanUARY 2025!

The Perfectionist’s Dilemma: Learn the Art of Self-Compassion and Become a Happy Achiever

Pre-Order The Perfectionist’s Dilemma and Get a Free Gift!

Are you tired of feeling held back by perfectionism? The Perfectionist’s Dilemma offers practical strategies and tools for high achievers to help you overcome self-doubt, self-criticism, or a fear of failure. Over time this can lead to procrastination, burnout and unhappiness—the very opposite of your goals and dreams and the life you work so hard for.

Pre-order your copy today and receive a FREE gift that includes a sneak peak of valuable tools in becoming a happy achiever. How? Just email your receipt to info@kindminds.co.

Don’t miss out on this incredible opportunity to unlock your potential.
Limited time offer. To qualify for the free gift, your pre-order receipt must be dated on or before December 31, 2024.


About the Book

In today’s high-pressure society, we are constantly fed a fable of individualism, exceptionalism, determination, and ingenuity, and taught a mythology of grin and bear it, no pain no gain, and hard work pays off, despite the fact that the conditions for success are unpredictable and ever changing. 

Psychologist Tara Cousineau claims that perfectionism is a paradox: It is the tension created by the need for belonging, a desire for excellence, and a quest for a meaningful and productive life. But perfectionism can be transformed by learning to connect both head and heart, replacing inner algorithms of comparison and criticism with self-acceptance and self-compassion.


Praise for The Perfectionist’s Dilemma

“Tara Cousineau’s perfectionism has paid off! First, she has normalized perfectionism. It is a drive in all of us. Most importantly, she is masterful in showing readers how to harness this natural force so your life will be more balanced, happier, and more successful – as close to perfect as wise guidance is likely to bring you.”
—Donna Eden and David Feinstein, Ph.D., co-authors of Energy Medicine: Balancing Your Body’s Energies for Optimal Health, Joy and Vitality

“Whether you think of perfectionism as a badge or a burden, it’s not doing us any favors. In The Perfectionist’s Dilemma, Tara Cousineau gives us a gem of a book and what is effectively a user’s manual for anyone walking around with a nervous system. You’d expect smart and insightful from a psychologist, but what sets this book apart is its warmth, wisdom, and belief in human potential.” 

—Terri Trespicio, author, Unfollow Your Passion: How to Create a Life that Matters to You


The Perfectionist’s Dilemma offers a transformative guide  on overcoming perfectionism. By weaving self-compassion, self-acceptance, and resilience, the author provides a practical guide to embracing imperfection and finding true fulfillment. A must-read for anyone seeking balance in a perfection-driven world.”
—James R. Doty, M.D., founder & director of the Stanford Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education and New York Times bestselling author of Into the Magic Shop: A Neurosurgeon’s Quest to Discover the Mysteries of the Brain and the Secrets of the Heart and Mind Magic: The Neuroscience of Manifestation and How It Changes Everything

“Dr. Tara Cousineau cares deeply about her clients and equally those seeking as her readers. She wants to help you to open your heart, to love abundantly, and foremost find vitality and meaning in this precious journey of life. Dr. Cousineau helps to make a transition from empty achievement to a vibrant sense of contribution.”
—Lisa Miller, Ph.D., Professor, Columbia University and author of The Awakened Brain: The New Science of Spirituality and Our Quest for an Inspired Life

“This beautiful book imparts diverse insights about perfectionism, weaving together clinical psychology and neuroscience, to help people overcome their harsh inner critic and develop a greater sense of self-compassion. Offering rigorous science and powerful tools, this book has the power to transform our individual and collective lives. Highly recommend!”
—Shauna Shapiro, author of Good Morning, I Love You: Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Practices to Rewire Your Brain For Calm, Clarity, and Joy

“A phenomenal, must-read book for any of us who struggle with perfectionism. Brilliantly integrating psychology, neuroscience, energy psychology, mindfulness, self-compassion research, and more, this book offers a unique framework for understanding the roots of perfectionism and how to work with it.  Skillfully and with clear guidance, wisdom, compelling stories and a multitude of enriching mind-body practices, Dr. Cousineau shows us how to listen inwardly, loosen the grip of perfectionism’s grasp, befriend and care for our inner critic, and transform old, protective patterns to experience ease, wholeness and joy in this human life.” 

— Beth Kurland, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and author of You Don’t Need to Change to Change Everything: Six Ways to Shift Your Vantage Point, Stop Striving for Happy, and Find True Well-Being

About the Book

In The Perfectionist’s Dilemma, Cousineau introduces an innovative six-step solution based on the acronym EVOLVE:

  • Embody the present moment
  • Validate your experience
  • Open your heart
  • Love your inner critic
  • Make a Vow
  • Spark Energies of excellence

To help readers overcome perfectionism and cultivate three essential resources—inner worth, inner humanity and inner leadership. Through storytelling and anecdotes from recovering perfectionists who have participated in Cousineau’s workshops, readers can learn to align mind, body, heart, and spirit—to become happy achievers.


Also by Dr. Tara

The Kindness Cure

The book I wrote for my daughters and future generations

Compassion for ourselves and others is our birthright as humans—hardwired into us and essential to our happiness. It can be easy to lose sight of this truth in a world that’s also full of selfishness and cruelty. In The Kindness Cure, psychologist Tara Cousineau draws on cutting-edge research in psychology and neuroscience to teach the reader simple practices of kindness—for ourselves, for our friends and family, for our society, and for our world—that can dissolve our feelings of fear and our habits of indifference, and open us to a life of profound happiness.


What others are saying about The Kindness Cure

An exceptional read for anyone who dismays of mean-spiritedness and who wants to make a difference.

~Library Journal, an American trade publication for the library community

Grounded in solid research, this book is heartfelt, funny, and so helpful, with tons of practical suggestions and effective tools. Sharp, insightful, and right to the point, Dr. Cousineau shows us how live from a strong heart. Highly recommended.

~Rick Hanson, Ph.D., New York Times bestselling author, Hardwiring Happiness and Buddha’s Brain

A lovely book, replete with simple kindness and full of reminders of how to enjoy and embody a kindful life.

~Jack Kornfield, author of The Wise Heart; The Path with Heart: A Guide Through the Perils and Promises of Spiritual Life; and The Art of Forgiveness, Lovingkindness and Peace

This is a wonderful book that focuses on kindness, bringing in work from a variety of different disciplines.  If you want to learn to bring more kindness into your life, this book is a good place to start.

~Kristin Neff, author of Self-Compassion:  The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

Tara’s understanding of kindness goes beyond her natural human ability to care. Through science-based interventions and a practiced ability to teach, Tara’s work has helped countless people to be more kind to each other and, more importantly, themselves. 

~Alexandra Jamieson, Co-Creator, Super Size Me; Author, Women, Food, and Desire

For many years Tara Cousineau, Ph.D., has shared her message about the power of kindness and compassion to lift others out of the distress and despair of every- day living: from daily hassles to wrestling with inner feelings of low self-worth, and sense of disconnection. Putting her message into a book about our innate ability to care and be kind and how to nurture this capacity is timely and much needed. I, for one, would welcome it as a resource for clients and colleagues.

~Nancy Etcoff Ph.D., author of Survival of the Prettiest: The Science of Beauty, Assistant Clinical Professor; Psychologist at Harvard Medical School and the Massachusetts General Hospital Department of Psychiatry. Director of Programs in Aesthetics and Well Being

Using practical techniques supported by research, Tara offers simple yet powerful exercises that reconnect us to qualities of compassion and kindness, and in the process, incline our minds and hearts to dwell in these states more naturally.  The Kindness Cure gives us carefully considered, warmly delivered keys to a deeper experience of kindness and connectedness.

~Sharon Salzberg, author of Real Happiness and Real Love

Dr. Tara Cousineau has created a ground-breaking beautifully written book on kindness. It is a forgotten concept but one which is vital for our health and well-being, especially in the times we live in now. This important book contains up to date scientifically-based information, effective strategies for incorporating or reintroducing kindness into our lives, with enough personal and patient anecdotes to keep the reader interested and motivated. Even though I have been a therapist for 30 years and thought I knew a bit about kindness, reading this book truly challenged me to create more ways to incorporate more into my life, with my patients, my family and friends, and myself.

~Alice Domar, PhD, Live A Little (with Susan Love MD), Be Happy without Being PerfectSelf-Nurture: Learning to Care for Yourself As Effectively As You Care for Everyone Else

Our world is hungry for kindness, and I know Tara Cousineau as someone who is dedicated to inviting more kindness, compassion, and understanding through her writing. I highly recommend The Kindness Cure for the wisdom it contains.

~Donald Altman, author 101 Mindful Ways to Build ResilienceThe Mindfulness Toolbox, and One-Minute Mindfulness

In her warm and wise voice, Tara Cousineau reminds us that beneath our often frenzied and distracted lives, kindness is at the heart of our being. Even with the practice of mindfulness, life is difficult for everyone. Kindness is an action we can perform in almost every moment; it connects us to others and brightens all our lives.

~Susan M. Pollak, author of Sitting Together: Essential Skills for Mindful-based Psychotherapy and President of the Institute for Meditation and Psychotherapy

Kindness and compassion may not be the usual vocabulary of the business world, but leaders must start speaking the language of Tara Cousineau.  Why?  Because the research is clear that the employee engagement that drives success grows in an ecology of genuine caring and meaningful support.  Tara’s book gives leaders in any organization well-researched insights into how we need to treat each other in any aspect of life — including work — to attain the levels of relationship, reciprocity and imagination required to succeed in a trying world.

~Kate Sweetman, former editor at Harvard Business Review, Co-author of The Leadership Code: Five Rules to Lead By, and designated an Emerging Management Guru by The Times of London

If there were a single practice capable of transforming person and planet, it would be kindness. If you were to read a single book on kindness, let it be this one. Blending her expertise in psychology with her deep life experiences, Dr. Tara Cousineau, offers you a path for cultivating kindness within and without.

~ Rabbi Rami Shapiro, author of the Sacred Art of Lovingkindness

We have chased personal success and happiness to the point of exhaustion. No matter how much we achieve or acquire, we come up empty, lonely, bereft. In short, we are in need of a cure. But, as Tara Cousineau, so elegantly and thoroughly reminds us, our medicine is in our DNA. We are wired for caring, connection, and compassion. Read The Kindness Cure and pass it on. Let the “infection of kindness” begin!

~Janet Conner, author of Writing Down Your Soul, Soul Vows, and The Soul-Discovery Coloring Book