Getting Over Miley
What happened to smiley Miley, the Hannah Montana of our children’s impressionable, formative years?
She’s been replaced by herself.
We have to deal with it.
Hannah Montana was not a particularly favorite TV sitcom character in my recollection. In fact, I can’t really recall a favorite—maybe Steve from Blues Clues but that’s another genre from a more innocent phase of childrearing that I prefer to recall at times. Most tween sitcoms espouse a low-grade slapstick comedy and a hyper-dialog based on sarcasm. Not exactly the tone I’d like to foster in our home; it’s also not how people speak in the real world. When your kid starts to get snarky, well, you can bet they are copping that attitude with help from the media.
Nevertheless, my girls watched Hannah Montana with enthusiasm. Hannah Montana’s role was amplified by Disney Radio spots—which we parents suffered through on carpool rides. Now that my girls are 13 and 16, Disney shows are less compelling, of course, trumped by The Voice and crime shows.
The day after Miley Cyrus’s now infamous exposé on the MTV Music Video Awards my younger daughter tried to give me fair warning:
“Mom, DO NOT WATCH THE MILEY CYRUS CLIP! You’ll freak out.”
You see my girls know exactly the kind of cultural tirade I’d embark on. Exhibitionism, Objectification. Bad taste. Of course, I didn’t’ need to see it since within 24 hours the Miley controversy was on every parenting social media outlet.
And if you don’t think your kids saw the scene in question, or missed the images of her swank moves and feline tongue, think again. Most tweens and teens had heard or seen the clips via their smartphones or social networks.
The top story in this past week in the Boston Globe’s Sunday Arts section featured Miley in anticipation of her new album, Bangerz. My girls can’t wait to hear it. I left the paper out for my girls to read and weigh in on given all the ruckus this past year.
Is Miley a freak show now or is she in control of her public image? How to you feel about her new persona? What to you think about her remake? Do you like her music?
My older daughter commented: “I read the whole article and I agree [with the writer]. Miley is in control of her image and it’s the way she wants it. She can do what she wants and not apologize for it. Her songs are OK.”
Gotta love those independent minded teenagers.
My younger daughter, 13, said: “She’s just weird. Like, why would she want to act that way?”
Weird indeed. And what parent of a girl doesn’t cringe at the idea that our daughters might turn out like that. Or that our sons might date a girl like that.
While MiIey may have lost some former HM fans, she’s gaining many new fans who could care less about her child actor past. They find her bold, impressive, curious, compelling, and yes, sexy. But her songs, by and large, remain conventional or “OK” as judged by my daughter. Her songs are not particularly controversial even if her new persona is.
Miley may be well in control of her new public image, just like Madonna was back when I was a late teen. My mom had a word or two to say about her… oh something about sinners and hell. I did not pay my mom any attention. “Like a virgin!” we girls would blare out just to bug our moms.
Of course, now being a parent it’s impossible to control what my daughters are exposed to—but I can create the space for dialog. I can also weigh in. My point of view on Miley metamorphosis is this: When a person reaches the heights of celebrity success, it’s not just about him or her anymore. It’s about not the path to stardom and fame. It’s about the public, too. The public that grew up with you, as in the case of Hannah Montana.
What bothers me most is that these stars do have a responsibility to the public and to their fan base. It’s hard to stomach Miley’s sheer arrogance and narcissism, but many young celebrities do just that. Recall Rihanna who glibly commented that it’s not her responsibility to be a role model to millions of girls around the world—because it takes the fun out of her craft. Give me a break. How disconnected she can be?
Young stars are accountable to audiences who consist of real people. When your audience is largely made up of tweens and teens, you need to be aware of your impact and acknowledge it, even if you choose a stage presence (and it’s always a choice) that crosses the line for certain audiences—like vulnerable tween girls and boys who are forming impressions on gender, roles, and identity.
Some celebrities try to “offset” their raunchy image by doing charity work. On the one hand, bringing money to a good cause is important and noble, but if it’s done as a face saving effort or PR gig, it just reeks as inauthentic. So what do we do when it comes to raising kids and our efforts to filter out who are good roles models and who aren’t?
It comes down to having conversations—many of them, about character, responsibility, core values, and the complexity of being a human. There are many opportunities to talk to our children about the famous and infamous. But more important, the Mileys of the world give us pause to pay close attention, for better or worse, on what it actually means to have role models. It gives us pause to expand our view of just who role models can be. It’s not only the faces that cover magazines or appear in music videos. Our role models are much closer and accessible if we look around: they are in our communities, schools, churches; they are our friends, family, neighbors, and teachers. They are people who demonstrate true personal power through kindness, attentiveness, love and respect.
Let’s turn our attention to them.
